staying in the moment. trying not to anticipate.

Last weekend, I attended a lovely yoga retreat at Shaker Village. As I sat around the final circle that chilly Sunday, I expressed what I wanted to carry away from the retreat. I had noticed my tendency to anticipate.

What pose will we do next? I wonder what guided meditation she’ll use. What will I get off the snack table? How will we process this activity? Oh! I could use this activity with this client!

Noise, noise, noise. I have a tendency to think several steps ahead instead of just being where I am.

I want to be more present and with that comes being more proactive in the moment that I am in.

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Today I found myself playing around on the internet. Looking at websites of yoga teachers and yoga studios, just to see what I liked and didn’t like. There’s a website revamp on the way. But before I do that? I have to settle on a name. So this led me to Hipster Business Name Generator. And then the potential names for my yoga stuff got even more murky. And then I found myself looking for studio space, because (yup) that’s logical. And then I took a step back and started looking at branding agencies. And then I started doing the math to realize that I could put back every spare penny and still probably not be able to afford the type of creative branding services that I think would be ideal. (Wait. Were there prices anywhere? Do I actually know this? Nope.)

And then I got super overwhelmed and worried and discouraged and panicky. What if someone takes my not-yet-purchased domain name (which I don’t even know yet)? What if someone takes my perfect studio space right out from under my nose (that I probably couldn’t afford anyway)? What if I’m a terrible teacher? What if no one wants to learn with me?

I came home in a panic. As I sat on the couch, my leg rubbed up against yoga teacher training bag.

Whoa, Krissie. You’re putting the cart way in front of the horse.

I pulled up this picture from my phone. I tried to put myself back in that space. On my mat. With the super cold breeze blowing under the door.

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Live in the now. Let the anticipations and fears just float by. They aren’t wrong. They aren’t right. They just aren’t for this moment. They aren’t for today.

So what is for this moment? Rolling out my mat and doing a practice focused on my hamstrings. Outlining teacher training materials (probably with Law and Order SVU in the background). Then settling into bed with a book about meditation.

Today. One thing at a time.

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