I look at my life – in this exact moment – and wonder how the bloody hell I ended up here. In an utterly fantastic way, but still.
I am throwing myself into not just the movement and practice of yoga, but also the philosophy.
And it is grounding me. It is speaking to me something fierce.
I feel like it is so much psychology with new words that I have no idea how to pronounce. I see the work of Freud and Maslow and Jung everywhere. But all in one place. Not a pick-and-choose way of thinking, but all-inclusive. And that appeals so much to the intellectual piece of me. It all seems strangely familiar. I dig it.
But it is the spiritual aspect that completely catches me off guard. I feel like I am being grounded in my faith in amazing ways. I am finding that this way of thinking promotes a connection not only to God as external, but to God in me. I am spending so much time in prayer because I am finally starting to get comfortable in accepting my own prayer language. And with allowing myself to experience prayer in the words of others.
(And so much of this is also due to recent shift in the church we attend, but that is another post for another day.)
I am also listening to Jars of Clay exclusively. Just so you know.
I am learning what truly feels good for my body. I am learning to listen, respond, and respect my body in each moment, with each challenge and choice. And – for the first time – I am eating, moving, and sleeping in truly healthy ways with ease.
Because my body isn’t just mine, my body is me.
(Damn. That’s a big realization that I didn’t know was coming out. I just keep reading that sentence over and over. It feels really big.)
Friends. I am emptying ink pens. I am filling up notebooks. I am making flash cards with vocabulary words. I am completely nerding out over here with this way of seeing the world and my place in it.
And, at the same time, I’m kinda nerding out about my internal change as well. I still have This Little Light of Mine in my head from last night’s reading.
And my teacher training doesn’t even start for another month.