myMay Day 1- laying the foundation (of the foundation)

So yesterday, I shared some of my coaching process with you. Today, I wanted to give you a taste of MyMay.

I thought I’d go ahead and share Day 1 of MyMay with you. The offering starts today, but I wanted to give a little teaser to those of you who might be procrastinators or on the fence.

Part of what I love about this program is that you don’t set your daily intentional practices by yourself. I guide you through the process so that you choose goals that are for YOU. Not practices you think you should have or the practices all the cool kids are doing. But we make movement toward what truly reflects your anticipated future self.

20140428-134028.jpgWelcome to MyMay!

Let’s dig right in…

The first thing I’m going to ask you to do is a little exercise I did 2 years ago. I still carry around my response on the inside of a now-beat-up file folder.

Get cozy. Really cozy. And imagine your perfect day 3 years from now. Imagine how you will wake up. What your morning routine is. What you eat. What you do for a career. How you get there. What your space looks like. What you drive. Who you see. What you do for fun. What errands you run. What you are wearing. What smells you notice. Notice what your bed is like when you crawl into it. Walk through your entire perfect day from opening your eyes to closing your eyes. All of it. Don’t rush it. Just live it.

Okay. Now write it down. Put as much detail in as you can. Write in present tense. “I get out of bed with birds chirping. I enjoy my coffee on the back porch.” Write what you are doing, not what you want to do or hope to do. Make it real.

I’ll wait.

Got it? Good.

Now I want you to look at how your life today is different. What habits and practices does the future you have that you don’t have today?

This may be difficult at first. This may take some thought. But try to figure out at least 5 things that future you is doing well that are important to you. (More than 5? Go, you little overachiever!)

A few of my examples?

  • Future Krissie is paying attention to her budget and finances. I could see this because I am living downtown somewhere and self-employed.
  • Future Krissie is spending time daily on the upkeep of her house. I could see that in the absence of clutter.
  • Future Krissie practices yoga on a daily basis and is rigorous and allows herself to be challenged by her practice. I know this because I did some yoga poses in my future that I’m not even close to beginning to know how to do right now.


Make sense? Have the gist of it?

Okay. Now take those future habits and determine what you could do today to move yourself to that place. Or, if the worlds are so incredibly different that you can’t put yourself in it, what would be the first logical step to creating those habits? This is how I interpreted the above future strengths:

  • I could spend time reviewing my budget in Mint.
  • I could spend 20 minutes picking up around the house.
  • I could create a more consistent and scheduled yoga practice.


There! Hopefully at the end you have 5 statements of things you could do to shorten the gap between the you of today and the you of the future.

And these will be important as we continue to craft Your May.

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Interested? Intrigued? Want to join us? I will close registration at 10pm EST tonight. (Any later than that and you’d have to play catch-up, and I don’t want to add stress to your life.)

Make May the month that you make eye contact with Future You and pursue her.

I can’t wait to see where we go during MyMay.

I am who I am.

As a kid, I remember being thankful that the preacher didn’t call on kids to give the benediction. My words don’t sound like that. That isn’t how my prayer conversation sounds. I don’t pray in thee and thou. I don’t use big words. I just talk. Because I prayed in a different way, I felt different. Less refined. Self-conscious of what was in my own head.

As we kneeled in church yesterday morning – in a church style that is very formal and new to me – I was again struck by how different this prayer language is than my own. But it felt beautiful. Still very different than my personal prayer language, but beautiful.

The same thoughts. Same intention. Same feelings. Different words.

I am struck at how similar this is to how I feel about how I coach.

I’m not flowery. I don’t use a lot of buzzwords. I don’t paint pretty word pictures of where you are and where our work could take you.

And I’ve been trying to change.

For the last few weeks, I have tried to create a different box for myself. I have started taking a lot of notes from the writings of my favorite coaches and superheroes. From blogs and books and ebooks and spoken podcasts. I have tried to figure out how to make my language sound more like theirs. To learn how to craft my sentences to evoke the same sigh of relief and call to action.

But that just isn’t me. And it feels like a lie. Buzzwords sound forced coming from me. I can get away with being intentional (because that is who I want to be), but other than that? I can’t pull off woowoo. I totally appreciate – and am in the middle of my own – growth from digging. I understand the benefits of journaling, asking hard questions, and deep-rooted personal progress.

That’s not how I think as a coach. At all. As a coachee (is that a word?), yes. But as a coach, not at all. Do we get to deep-rooted progress? Yes. But the language is different.

I’m starting to realize that it is what makes me different that makes me helpful. And maybe in a different way. And maybe to a different type of client. But it is definitely good. And definitely helpful.

How I pray, how I think, how I write, how I coach. All of this is my own style. And my style doesn’t look like the traditional presentation.

As a helper, I’m very practical.

This is what you want. What feelings do you want that to create? Try it and see if it does. If so, woo hoo! If not, let’s try something else to get that feeling.

So you have found something that makes you feel happy/good/ease/insert positive feeling. How often do you want to do it? How long does it take? Let’s find out. Grab a timer. Let’s go.

Where can you find time for it in your day? Where else? Where else? Where else?

I don’t think in terms of “lighting up the cells of your being” or “your divine energy” or “the deep science of paying attention.” And, while I love this speech and sometimes really wish I thought this way, I am realizing that I cannot create this box for myself. And I am wasting so much energy trying to make myself something I’m not.

So, with my theme of assured for the year, I’m trusting my gut. I don’t need to sound like everyone else. I’m trusting my practicality in coaching writing and practice. My casualness in prayer. I’m trusting that I am exactly who I need to be for exactly who needs to hear me.

And that it is beautiful.

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MyMay starts Tuesday – that’s TOMORROW!

One month. (Plus a few days in the beginning.) We’ll identify what self-care practices you want to develop in your life. We’ll look at the true impact of these practices, how they logistically fit in your day, and the energy they take or provide. Intentional and reflective self-care with the benefit of community support. It is going to be epic.

Tomorrow, friends! Learn more and sign up here!

Friday Favorites: Podcasts

I spend a lot of time on the road for my real job. What is a lot? Probably close to 10 hours a week. I learned pretty quickly upon taking that responsibility that I really really enjoy podcasts. I have ran with them off and on for years, but I love listening to them in the car. And I know Nathan loves hearing about what I learned when I get home. I am sure there is some sarcasm there. For MONTHS, all of my conversations started with, “so I was listening to Radiolab…”

I want to tell you about a few of my favorites. And also so you know what my style is so you can give me some recommendations, since I’m pretty well caught up. (These numbers are not accurate at all. I listen on my phone and the iPad just isn’t syncing right now.)

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It took me a while to narrow down to the 15 that would fit in one screenshot. And I won’t go into detail about all of them. Don’t worry. These are in the order that I listen to them, usually. Except…

Nerdist is only at the end because I save them for a) road trips, b) super bad moods, or c) when I am completely caught up. I hoard them. So I need them to stay at the end of the queue. I have an almost embarrassing crush on Chris Hardwick. And I have a dance to the theme music. Maybe that’s why they need to stay out of mind. I can’t drive and dance at the same time. Episodes to start with: either Tom Hanks, Josh Groban, Tony Hale, Chris Jerico.

Radiolab, in my humble opinion, is the greatest podcast being recorded. I love the relationship between the hosts. They could talk about moss growing on a rock (and they probably have) and I would be completely mesmerized. Good places to start: Lucy (you’ll have to dig into 2010, but worth it), Death Mask, Adoptive Couple v. Baby Girl.

Stuff You Should Know is dangerous for me because it makes me want to buy books about things they talk about. They are so very very random in their topics. But I could listen for days. I love the funny argumentative relationship between the hosts, and Chuck’s little giggle makes me day. Begin with How Burlesque Works, How the Maori Work, and How Dying Works.

I just found Beyond the To-Do List this week, and it is changing my life. I’m not sure how I found it, but the interviews that Erik Fisher conducts are amazing. Productivity, intentionality, focus, AMAZING. That’s all I can say. My favorites so far: Chris Brogan, Claire Diaz-Ortiz (you’ll hear her name from me again), and Donald Miller.

The Jess Lively Show is relatively new. I have read her blog for a while so I was stoked when she started recording a podcast. I look forward to Thursdays for another reason than just Grey’s now. (Stupid Harper Avery award!!! Refocus, Krissie.) She interviews bloggers/entrepreneurs about how they build their best lives. I’m smitten. My faves: Gala Darling, Danielle Moss, and Dana Shultz. But they are all amazing.

Ahhh, Freakonomics. I don’t even know how to explain this show, They take an economist viewpoint on a wide variety of topics. Kinda like if Stuff You Should Know was hosted by economists instead of nerds. Super engaging, although I do skip some of them that don’t capture my interest in the first 10 minutes. But when they hook me, they hook me. And I want to become a Behavioral Economist. I have no idea what that even means, but they have the coolest knowledge as guests. Highlights: Save Me From Myself, Do You Really Want to Know Your Future, and Running to Do Evil (<– that may be my absolute favorite of any podcasts).

I hope you can find something in here to drive/run/clean to. I feel so much more productive when I'm learning and being entertained.

So, what am I missing?

Don’t forget! MyMay closes and begins on Tuesday! Intentional self-care habit-building … you know you want in!

increased self-care = increased self-trust

I’ve spent the last few weeks writing daily through a self-guided journaling course from Mara Glatzel. I adore the work that I’m doing. I love that I’m writing – for just me – on a daily basis. I love that I am taking the time, at so many points in my day, to take a breath and close my eyes and just see how I’m feeling. In my body, in my mind, am I expanding or contracting? Does this feel right or does this feel off?

But I’m learning that I have strong opinions. We knew that already, but I have more of them. And they are stronger than I thought. And sometimes that scares me. (I’m not sharing those today.) But, to my surprise, I’m learning that I can trust them.

This lovely (and tasty) pea burrito? I’m done with it.

This weather? It is insanely beautiful and I must get out there!

This conversation? I really don’t want to be a part of it.

This purse? I want it. Now. I will sacrifice if I need to at the trunk show on Saturday, but this purse belongs to me.

This book? I’m going to blow through it (and eat. it. up.) instead of cleaning the kitchen for my husband.

None of these decisions hurt me. At all. Some of them took conversations with other people, and they turned out okay. Some took changing plans, but it was fine. I look into these minor decisions, and I know I would have made different ones. I wouldn’t have taken that walk at work because I had stiff to do and my makeup was a disaster when I got back. I would have eaten the entire burrito. I wouldn’t have bought the bag and I would have been angry at myself every time I carried the “almost good enough” bag.

I am trustworthy. I know what is good for me. The world won’t fall apart if I act how I think I should instead of how I want to act.

This statement is both simple and complex. Obvious and elusive. And I’m loving this dance in the middle of it.

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How can you build self-care and self-trust?

Think about the choices you make every once in a while that just feel downright good. Wouldn’t you like to make them more often?

It may be loading the dishwasher before you go to work. Or putting on eye shadow. Or choosing different shoes than the one you’ve worn for the past two weeks. Switching chapstick for lipstick.

It may be a quick yoga series before bed. Or spending time in your journal. Or taking some time to plan your dream vacation. Or checking your bank account.

Where are you finding space in your day to do the things that create ease and satisfaction? And how often?

I’m guessing you might be like me.

Plans. Dreams. Possibilities.The best of intentions. Expecting that one day I’ll magically get everything checked off the list of things that I really want to do. And then the stars will align and I’ll feel carefree and blissed out.

Yeah. Um, no. That’s not going to happen. And if you expect that I can solve all of that for you? That’s not going to happen either.

But let me tell you what could happen.

You could spend the month of May with me and others in your spot. (Well, the month of May plus a few days in the beginning to build the foundation for May.)

By the time we’re done, you’ll be able to identify what behaviors are truly self-care and you’ll have different options for building them into your day. You’ll have a foundation of self-care behaviors and a braintrust to help you brainstorm, see past roadblocks, and to give you a swift kick when that’s what you need.

And, you know what? I bet it is a smaller financial investment than you’d think.

My work with Krissie taught me to give myself credit for what I have accomplished and credit myself with what I have the potential to accomplish. ~@LoPhoenix.

Working with Krissie helped me learn to be who/what/where I am now, and not fret that I’m not who/what/where I want to be with. I am learning to be content with the me of now. ~@Jaime_France

Welcome to our May, your May, MYMay.

Click here for more info and registration info.

go be it.

One of the first things I do each morning – before I brush my teeth – is scroll through my overnight email for my daily dose of Danielle. And today’s truthbomb punched me in the gut. In an utterly fantastic way.

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I know, right?

So that got me thinking. Who DO I think I am?

I am a wife. A kickass wife.

I am a coach. I am pretty good at that too. I work really hard – on coaching materials, with my clients, and with my own stuff – and I think it shows.

My health is important to me. The food I put in my body. The time I spend in the sunshine. Getting in movement most days.

I am me – consistently and unapologetically. I try to present the real Krissie all of the time in all situations. Here. In person. On twitter. What you see is what you get. I won’t share everything, but I won’t misrepresent myself either.

I spend money on what makes me happy. I am smart about it. Our bills are always paid. We have an emergency fund. But denial isn’t my thing. I can get a lot of happiness from a $10 pack of pens. I’m not going to restrict that. That’s not how I want to live.

Building upon my spiritual foundation is a priority. I don’t talk a lot about it here, but prayer is an important part of my life. I want to be more intentional about going to church.

Now that I have spelled that out? I just need to go and be.
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Want to come along? Tackle some of these questions yourself? Learn how to create a routine of self-care that puts who you are front and center. Check out MyMay. Starts (and closes) on Tuesday! April 29 – ONE WEEK!!

click that shutter.

I had a few goals when the new year started.

I was going to finally get this weight off.

I was going to get our finances in order.

I was going to start truly taking care of myself. Completely.

Now that I find myself in April already (at the end, even), I look back and am very proud of my year so far. It hasn’t shaped up at all like I thought it would, but it has shaped up exactly as it should.

Through various readings with various coaches, I am learning how to be unapologetically me. And a big piece of that is being unapologetic to myself. I am learning how to trust myself to identify my true needs and wants, and to follow them without guilt or apology. I am learning the difference between what I want and what I think will passify or distract me.

Do I have this weight off? Nope. Have I made progress? Yup. In a two-steps-forward-one-step-back way. But this way is something that feels purposeful and maintainable and right for me. The downward graph is not as steep as it has been in the past, but it feels solid. Like something I can do for the rest of my life. And still have a life.

Are my finances in order? Yes and no. I am more intentional with how I spend. I only buy things that I truly love – food, clothing, office supplies. If I’m not 100% on fire about it? Then it doesn’t come home with me or get put on my plate. Period. I am learning to trust that I will choose what is best for me. What makes me feel best. And that as long as I have my best interest and best self in mind, my world will conspire with me to make everything balance out.

So how am I doing this?

Don’t laugh.

I am using the camera on my phone to help me make decisions. Both in the moment and in reflection.

Sometimes, in the moment, I have a hard time looking at something and being able to figure out if it is what I truly want, if it is truly fantastic. How does this dress look? Would this yoga mat really change my life? Would this piece of cake truly vastly improve the quality of my day? (Because that’s how my desires immediately resonate in my head. “This would change my life!”) When I try to figure out if a piece of clothing is amazing, I may not be able to tell in the mirror, but I can tell in a picture. Food that looks appealing in front of me has a different appeal when I turn my back and look at the picture. Sometimes, just that little bit of distance can remove some of the emotional charge from my decision.

And pictures really help me reflect as well, which builds how I make future decisions. A few times a week, I flip through my pictures of foods and purchases and see how they feel after the fact. The super veggie calzone from Sunday afternoon? I stopped at less than half and that salad with it was the highlight of my day. That bag I really wanted but didn’t buy? I stopped thinking about it as soon as I was out of the store and made the right decision. That dress I bought that is still in the bag (somewhere)? Maybe it wasn’t the best purchase. I need to wear it or take it back.

Looking back on my decisions – in photographic form – helps me process. I am able to both see where I could do better and recognize strengths to build an emotional foundation of successes. I am able to see – visually, without question or judgment – when I need to refocus. I am able to see when I am being intentional and true. Without numbers, without judgment. With trust and contentment.

So… Let’s talk about what’s next. And see how you can work with me to incorporate some of this into your day.

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MyMay is a coaching offering that begins on April 29th. This program offers an opportunity for you to be guided through the process of creating an intentional self-care routine. I truly believe that listening to our self-care needs creates the foundation for success and intentionality in all other areas of our lives. This offering is a time for you to focus on trying out different self-care behaviors and build a self-care practice that is fulfilling for you. You will not be in competition with other participants, but instead you will all be a type of braintrust and sounding board for each other. This offering will teach you how to evaluate self-care behaviors and tear down roadblocks and excuses. You will finish with a desire to continue to pursue internal contentment within the context of challenging yourself to reach a higher level of self-care. Without guilt. Without worry. But starting right where you are, and ending right where you will end. Simple as that.

Click here to learn more! And you can email me at Krissie@committedcoaching.com with any questions.

there’s nothing on the bathroom floor for me.

So I’ve been reluctant to be assertive in my coaching practice.

And I have been lying to myself about the why. My initial justification would be that it was because I was content where I am. I have a few clients that I adore and keep me plugged in. I feel like I am doing enough right now and I’m content with where I am.

But that’s not the truth. Not even 10%.

The truth is that I’m shaken. The last offering I developed felt like it was a gift from the divine. I am not kidding. At all. It was inspired and inspiring. It was challenging and hard and life-changing. But, also? It was expensive. When I looked at effort required on my part and the length of the program, I priced it at the absolute bottom of what I could charge.

And then it flopped. And I was kinda shattered. Did I understand? Absolutely. I mean, I couldn’t have afforded it myself. But that didn’t soothe the sting. And the impact on my pride and confidence was massive.

But over the past few weeks, I’ve had a few experiences to build me back up a little.

Danielle LaPorte posted that she was not launching a magazine. After hiring people and seeking submissions and teasing it for months, her magazine is a no go. She wrote a beautiful post about how she just decided to pull the plug. Although it isn’t exactly what happened to me, the impact on me was huge. She – the definitive Danielle LaPorte – had a project that just wasn’t working. So she cut it. She reminded me that I could repurpose the material, let go of my ego, and center myself on why I do what I do. That helped me metaphorically climb off the bathroom floor.

And then last week, I was lamenting to my husband about how I was worried about my ability to ever have coaching as a full-time gig. My strong point is the coaching itself, not acquiring clients. I said something to the effect that all of my clients were doing so well and were building a story that I wouldn’t always be a part of. I love seeing them succeed, but that is getting them farther away from needing me and what I bring to their lives. He gave me a disapproving look and said, “Krissie. Has it occured to you that maybe the reason they are doing so well is because they are working with you? Because what you do works?” BAM. Who cares how long I am useful to them? As long as I am getting them closer to their authentic selves, then I am doing my job. I am living my dream. I am doing things right.

Earlier this week, I decided to pull myself up off the bathroom floor for real. I really didn’t plan this well (as my heart felt I would wait until mid-May to make a push for a June offering), but I am running MyMay again this year. I have everything up and running and ready to go. Just waiting for you to join us.

So, what is MyMay?

MyMay is a chance to spend a month with me in a less-commitment-than-usual setting. You’ll get prompts to set your intentional goal behaviors that we’ll track through the month of May. By the time we’re done, you’ll be able to identify what behaviors are truly self-care and you’ll have different options for building them into your day. You’ll have a foundation of self-care behaviors and a braintrust to help you brainstorm, see past roadblocks, and to give you a swift kick when that’s what you need. And for a smaller investment than my recent offerings.

I’m sure you’ll hear much more about MyMay, but it starts on April 29th, so I just wanted to start getting the word out.

Is there anything you need to pick yourself up from? What step could you take today to get off the bathroom floor?

(And, no, I won’t post a picture of Izzy in her prom dress. Although I want to. Badly.)