triggers

You know what irritates me?

Triggers.

I don’t think it is fair that figuring out what is triggering me doesn’t make it stop.

And today is FULL of triggers.

I want something sweet – everything sweet, actually. and some salt while we’re at it – because I’m crazy hormonal right now.

I want a cat (this teenage one, to be exact) because this is a hard week every year and I just want something to take care of and mother.

So I can explain my demanding and unusual behaviors. I know why they are here. But I can’t make them stop.

“Hey, Desire to Drive Through Starbucks! I know why you’re here, and I’m just gonna pretend that I don’t hear you!”

Um, no.

Instead, I’m all like “GET IN MY BELLY!” (Except not yet. I’m trying.)

“Hey there, cute little kitten! You are just a representation of something else. I can let this feeling go.”

Not quite.

Instead I’m stalking her on the Internet. And thinking of names. Current winner: The Governor.

Sigh.

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3 Comments

  1. That kitty is fabulous…I wouldn’t let her go if I were you. She may not be a representation of anything else deeper than you just want another kitty. I met both of mine via internet dating! God bless the good people who write those descriptions! Go get her today!!! She (and you) will have a better Christmas for it.

  2. I’m having had a trying weekend, I realised this morning that I was going to have the same kind of week. The hour talking to the nice therapist helped, sometimes I need a tune up, I actually need to work through the best response to wanting x because of y and working out if x is all that dangerous in the moment, if it will make me feel better in the long run and blah, blah, blah. I’ve also made sure that I have the people that know what’s going on (and why) aware that I need them this week. I hate not being able to deal with it by myself but I need people this week and being able to ask is a huge step for me!
    Good luck and no one would blame you if you got the cat!

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