from here to there

Sometimes the story of how I got somewhere entertains me as much as where I ended up.

I came across this Linchpin Manifesto by Seth Godin the other day. And it spoke to me something fierce.

Screen shot 2013-10-27 at 10.03.04 AMBut what I took from it – where my brain went – was somewhere totally different.

I started thinking about my linchpin habit within ME. (And I talked to one of you in coaching about this too.) What is my one habit that makes things happen in my life? What is it that I do that gives me energy? What is it that I do that just gives momentum for the rest of my life?

Over the past few weeks, since I reevaluated the marathon, I’ve backed way off with a lot of things. I’ve been cooking and eating intuitively (which strangely feels comfortable), but that’s it. I haven’t been running regularly. I have been coaching where I am, but not seeking to create more opportunities. I’ve been treading water.

And I’ve realized that as comfortable as that is, it isn’t me.

So I’ve been looking back through my planner to figure out what my linchpin habit is. And it has become pretty clear.

I need to be scheduled. I need things within my day where I need to be certain places at certain times. I need running dates. I need coaching sessions scheduled throughout the week. I need times that I will listen to my marketing calls (I miss having a scheduled class!). I need structure.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m revamping the running group schedule for the fall/winter. I’m putting yoga back in my calendar. I’m scheduling my classwork. I’m scheduling the heck out of this week.

I’ve also been looking at where I know I struggle. There is one day of the week where I really struggle to maintain focus, where I try anything I can to avoid my evening commitment. I REALLY need to schedule that evening in a way that encourages me. So I’m asking for your help. I need to fill my 4:30pm EST spot. I’m looking for either several discovery sessions the next few weeks, or an ongoing client (at a discounted rate, since you’d really be helping me). Interested? Fill out this form (for either a complimentary stand-alone session or testing-the-waters to possibly go ongoing) and we’ll see if we can get something rolling.

Think back on a time where you felt really on, really productive, really plugged in. What were you doing then that you just aren’t doing now? What could you do to implement that linchpin habit?

my worst case

After my recent post about my ideal day (and in response to a coaching conversation I had), I started thinking about what I really want for myself. And how much pressure I put on myself. And what really I am so afraid of.

What is really the worst that can happen?

If nothing changes –

…if I don’t lose this weight that is plaguing and perplexing me.

…if I don’t make coaching my full-time gig.

…if my closets are a mess.

– then what?

And the answer was amazing.

NOTHING.

Sincerely.

I will still be a runner. Maybe not a marathoner, but I will still be a runner.

I will still be working a job that I don’t love, but I don’t hate. And I’ll make my meaning from my coaching gig on the side.

I will still have the love of my amazing husband, family, and community.

I will still have a cute wardrobe, even if the number isn’t what I think it should be and I can’t always easily find what I’m looking for.

If I stay EXACTLY who I am today, there’s not a single thing wrong with that. There’s not a single thing wrong with me. There isn’t a single thing wrong with my life.

Yes, I have goals. Yes, I have things that I want to do and be. But they are just that – wants. They aren’t needs. I do have ambition and motivation, but I’m not running away from anything. I can make movement towards “better” without running away from who I currently am. Because who I currently am is pretty stinking awesome.

So there’s that.

thankfulinnovemberchalkboard

What are you doing in November? Want a daily reminder to welcome gratitude into your daily life? Sign up for this (FREE!) month-long program to remind yourself to be thankful in November!

take these chances

I’ve spent the last few months in a place of evaluation. What do I want? How do I get it? How do I maintain my relationships and my sanity and my sleep schedule? How do I make time for all the opportunities and goals I have in front of me?

And I’ve realized that all of these things I want to do – the marathon, self-employment, being in amazing shape – they don’t have to happen right now.

Just because I’m not doing something right now does not mean that I won’t do it or that it isn’t important to me.

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I can express my desires, my “chances,” and put them aside. And trust that I will return to them when I have time and energy. Because they aren’t going anywhere. Because they are who I am. And the opportunity to choose what I want to do, from day to day, inside the boundaries of my “chances” has shifted my attitude.

I will not run a marathon in November. For those of you keeping track, this is the third marathon I have registered for and not completed. My body just isn’t feeling it right now. I could do it, but I would hate it. So I’m not going to. I will keep running – 2 halfs left this fall, 3 or 4 this spring – but in a way that I can manage without feeling like it requires a lot of focus and structure.

And I’m coaching now from a place of love. Not to pay off bills, not to save money, not to make a move toward self-employment. I’m coaching because it is what I want to do. Because I love being involved in your lives. And I’m doing so without financial expectations or goals. It is all for the love.

I have chosen to put my goal pursuits back into a hobby category because the things that used to define me – before running and coaching – are making noise again.

I am cooking again. Several times a week. Sometimes – like last night – I made a soup from a recipe and then kept adding to it from the pantry until we had pumpkin lentil curry. It was very tasty and I felt super accomplished.

For Christmas this year, I’m asking for financial contributions for a new camera. I miss tangible creativity, and I feel like that is my medium. And I want to have the necessary tools when I’m feeling the urge to make art.

Will I run another marathon? Yes.

Will I coach full-time? Possibly.

But in a quieter time. Because right now? My heart is making a lot of noise. And I’m listening to it.

(And while I have your attention, have you signed up for my Thankful in November series? I’m so excited to bring it to you!)

desire for a day

I have to confess that the latest Desire Map prompt scared me. A lot. I really didn’t think I’d want to think about this. I was afraid I’d end up creating some great (and depressing) divide between where I am and where I want to be.

But that’s not what happened at all.

What does my “ideal normal” look like?

morning

  • yoga
  • coffee
  • easy, not rushed
  • smoothie at my desk

afternoon

  • productivity – completing lots of things on my to-do list
  • a run
  • colorful lunch
  • work that makes me smile

evening

  • laid-back time cooking in the kitchen
  • time with friends
  • snuggles with Nathan on the couch
  • time set aside for growing me
  • favorite shows without guilt

Once I worked through this? I was shocked at how close all of this feels. I didn’t end up with explicit goals – x number of coaching clients, x amount of coaching income, x number on my mailing list, working for myself, etc.

All of this – each piece of my ideal normal – seems very possible with where I am now.

Mind = blown.

(I also really dig the worksheet she has for this week, but I don’t really have a printer in this awesome coffee shop.)

 

 

4/40 Challenge

As usual, my sweet friend Cassie has hit another challenge out of the park.

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And the printable is bee- you-tee-full.

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Here’s what I love about her 4/40 challenge:

  • I love that there is a “family” goal. So often, I get caught up in ME ME ME in challenges and when I’m focusing on self-affirming behaviors. It makes so much sense to add a goal that builds connections.
  • I love that I can choose how many days I want to complete each goal. 40 isn’t really feasible for some of my goals, but 35 is. It is nice to be able to set up the expectation within the printable without having to make a lot of ugly marks or amendments. Nice and easy spot for it.
  • I love that it gives me an opportunity to get momentum going into the holidays. It is so easy to just throw my hands up and give up all of my healthy goals when the holidays come around. This will give me momentum.
  • Did you SEE the printable?

Okay, now let’s talk about my goals.

Nutrition

I will track my food intake 40/40 days. I will not get all caught up in the counting of calories, but I will track my food. There are wonky things going on with my body right now, and I will see a nutritionist next month. I want to make sure I am taking accurate information into that process. So no judgement, just tracking. Every day.

Fitness

I will get 30 minutes of NON-RUNNING exercise 35/40 days. I know that this ins’t feasible on some long-run days. And this can be 30 minutes of whatever I want it to be. Yoga, zumba, walking, weights. No limits. I just think my body isn’t responding to running as a calorie burner in the way that it used to, so I need to shake it up. I also reserve the right to count 1 hour of Zumba as 2 30-minute segments.

Self-Care

I will put more-than-a-ponytail effort into my hair 35/40 days. It doesn’t have to be all-out straight. It can be a purposeful side-bun where I take a curling iron to the straggly hairs (like yesterday). Or it can be dried curly and put up with a variety of bobby pins. Anything that expresses effort to those that see me.

Family

We will have one meal a day at a table 4/40. At dinner last night (and Friday night too), how nice it was to actually talk to Nathan. Face-to-face. Without distractions. WIthout tv. It was nice. It doesn’t have to be JUST me and Nathan to count either. Or Nathan doesn’t even have to be included. But one meal a day. At a table. Without distractions. With someone.

So are you playing along?

thankfulinnovemberchalkboardAnd as an aside, I’d love to have you come along for a month of gratitude I’m presenting through my coaching endeavor. Daily emails with prompts, submissions from others, and rad videos/podcasts/etc that I’ve come across. This is totally FREE and I think you’ll dig it. You can sign up here!

from pursuit to intention

Here’s what I’m starting to learn about myself:

I live in the future. In numbers. In terms of x.

If I keep growing my business as it is growing, I can be self-employed by x date.

If I keep with my debt work, we can be free of credit card debt by x month.

If I run my scheduled mileage, I’ll hit x amount of miles this year.

If I keep with my speedwork, I can be x fast in x amount of time.

If I eat this many calories, I can be x weight in x time.

I’ve realized that that is a lot of pressure.

Consistent. Pervasive. Heavy.

So step one in Chilling Krissie Out?

I’m letting go of numbers.

I’m not judging my success on how fast or how far or how hard.

I’m doing the best I can. I’m making good choices and enjoying them. I’m trying to find my sweet spot again.

And this means a shift in thinking. A shift from goal pursuit to intentional living.

Maybe it is just me, in my own head, but this shift is huge.

I’m making choices because they are within my intentions – to be healthy, to be happy, to do work that I love, to live a life that I am proud of. And that feels so much better.

I’m not making choices because they are getting me a specific outcome – a number on a scale, being self-employed, a zero balance on a credit card. I’m not approaching my day feeling like I have to do all that I can to just get out – of a job, of debt, of weight – but instead from a place of “what can I do today to get me a little closer?”

And I’m trusting that living intentionally will get me to the places I want to be. In a good and respectable amount of time, even if it isn’t at lightning speed. Even if it could be quicker.

I’m giving up pursuit. I’m giving up deadlines.

I’m still planning. I’m still evolving. I’m still acting. I’m still growing. I’m still living.

And I’m still trusting that the outcome of my dreams will be the same.

This shift from pursuit to intention just seems to have so much less pressure attached to it.