wysiwyg

What you see is what you get.

We see this most as a claim of authenticity.

This product? It is exactly what you see. You know what you’re getting.

Me? I’m an open book. No secrets. No surprises.

I’ve been thinking the last few days about expectations and perception and self-fulfilling prophecies.

I think that – a lot of times – we see and receive what we are looking for.

Let’s say I don’t want to run. Like really don’t want to run. It is hot and humid. My legs are tired. I expect to be miserable. So when I get out there, I notice the heat and the humidity. I notice how heavy my legs are. But what would I see if I was more objective and less guided by my expectations? What is out there that is positive if I just open my eyes up to it?

I look at my struggles and can’t help but wonder how much of it is perception and being selective of what I notice. What I expect to see – what I’m looking for – is what I get.

If I’m looking for reasons to get annoyed, I’m going to find them.

If I’m looking for ways that people are letting me down, I’m going to find them.

but…

If I’m looking for reasons to be thankful, I’m going to find them.

If I’m looking for ways others are supporting me, I’m going to find them.

I also think that we can sometimes set ourselves up to see things a certain way. The situations we find ourselves in are sometimes just a result of expecting an outcome and making it reality

If I’m afraid of my finances, my lack of knowledge will prevent me from being comfortable within my financial boundaries. I’ll continue to give myself reasons to fear.

If I go into a retail situation expecting bad service, what kind of vibe am I giving off? I won’t be friendly and approachable to those who would like to help me, so I’m probably going to get bad service. (Remember this?)

If I believe I don’t have time to read for enjoyment, I won’t find the time to do so. I’ll prove myself right.

I believe that we can set ourselves up to see things a certain way. And that is often what we end up getting. Even if a big piece of that experience is a faulty or skewed perception.

My charge for myself – and for you – today is to look for what you want, not what you dread.

Do you want more peace at work? Pay attention to that and let the conflict go.

Do you want to make healthier choices? Broaden your horizons and look for opportunities to do so. Try a new place for lunch. Bring shoes to take a walk at break. Finally sign up for that Zumba class. Let go of the expectation that you won’t be perfect today.

Do you want more fun in your relationships? Look for opportunities to do something small for someone you love. Schedule a date to bowl or walk or go to a community concert with a friend. Let go of the fear of disappointment.

Let go of negative expectations. Let go of fear. Broaden your scope of vision. Look for what you want, not what you fear or dread. See more. Get more.

What you see is what you get, so what are you looking for today?

Want more of my musings personalized to you? Check out my latest coaching offering – GoalsAtChoice. This offering is an old school accountability challenge that runs the month of September. 4 daily goals + pretty much daily harassment from me. Registration is open through Saturday at 6pm and I’d love for you to play along!

make the most of what you’ve got

Last month, we saw the Dave Matthews Band in Cincinnati. After being a groupie back in the late 90’s, it had been a while since I had felt connected to their new music. At the convincing of our buddy Kent, we piled in the car after work, stuffed our faces with Skyline, and headed to an arena that we used to frequent.

I was immediately struck by the reaction I had to such familiar space and music. I had forgotten how much of my marriage grew from a common love of Dave Matthews Band. Even the songs that were unfamiliar had the familiar charge of the band. It was such a great night.

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They were cranking through a new song and I was really in the moment. And then Nathan said something like, “the people you coach need to hear this!” I had talked a lot about beFULL. He knows what I am trying to do. Not only was I struck by his attention to my work, but also how right he was. And I needed to hear it too.

Make the most of what you’ve got. Don’t waste time trying to be something you’re not.

This has become a little bit of a mantra for me lately. A bizarre kind of decision filter. I find myself asking, “Is this what I am?” If the answer is no, I’m wasting my time. “Am I making the most of this situation?” Sometimes that question spurs me to a different action, and sometimes it removes guilt when I am doing the best I can in that moment.

So that is my charge to you today. Two points:

1) Make the most of what you’ve got.

2) Don’t waste time trying to be something you’re not.

Have a happy and authentic Tuesday.

And remember that my latest accountability challenge starts this weekend! Click for Goals at Choice info!

taking the time

One of the things I struggle most with is a GO-GO-GO attitude!

Come on, Krissie. Just buckle down and check one more thing off today’s list.

Let’s go, Krissie! Get those shoes on and get out the door!

It is time to get the shower and get those legs shaved!

You’re not tired! Push through!

Dinner! Cook! Now! Choppy choppy!

In all the lists and the cleaning and the straightening of the hair, sometimes I wonder where I really am.

I am making an effort to be present in my moments. The working moments, the self-care moments, the cleaning-the-bathroom-sink moments. I’m looking for subtle shifts to really notice where I am. I’m making a conscious effort to enjoy the ordinary and to acknowledge how this series of intentional steps are truly moving me to who I want to be.

When I’m chopping the green onion for (our newest favorite) egg stir-fried quinoa, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I am respecting my body’s need for healthy food. I am preparing for the marathon.”

I’m cleaning the bathroom mirror.  “I am creating a clean space that feels comfortable and promotes peace in my soul.”

I’m spending hours and hours in my living room catching up with a neglected friend. “I am feeding my heart.”

I’m heading out for a run. “I am challenging my body and challenging my soul. I am determination.”

I see my schedule full of evening sessions. “I am working hard during the week so I can be fully present in the time I am taking with my family this weekend.”

I grab my lunch out of the fridge. “I am being intentional with where I spend my money. I have numbers to meet before I am comfortable with self-employment. Every little bit counts.”

I get up early in the morning so I can roll my hair. “I feel better when my hair is straight and fun. I feel more like myself.”

When I get my final task checked off for the day (or I have them redistributed), I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I am living my intention to become a coach full-time.”

These subtle shifts in thinking keep me present in my goals. By really noticing how activities feel, I experience a presence and an excitement at the things I have to do, instead of the resentment that comes with overwhelm. By recognizing the purpose, I can see the momentum I’m gaining from completing a series of little expectations throughout my day. By actually closing my eyes and taking a breath, I am experiencing my day and not just letting it go by.

Creating awareness through my day is making a positive impact on how I view my responsibilities. 

 

And I’d love to be able to walk you through a similar process for yourself. If this sounds up your alley, check out my latest coaching offering. Goals At Choice works you through setting 4 goals and gaining insight and momentum through the month of September.

You’ll be guided to choose goals that meet your needs and light you up!
You’ll use your goal progress to put your best self into the world.
You’ll learn to see your goals as a tool of empowerment instead of a punishment.
You’ll see the changes that occur when you recognize opportunities to assert control over your choices instead of defaulting to passivity or overwhelm.

Click over for more info and registration. Drop me an email at krissie@committedcoaching.com with any questions.

i meant what I said.

So the last time you saw me, I drew a line in the sand. I made a statement that I was releasing what didn’t create feelings of light and excitement. I am embracing and following up with what feels good. I am listening to the way of my heart.

I said no.

I got an email earlier this week. An email that included an awesome opportunity. A chance to get my name out like whoa. A chance to speak and run a big group and just get a lot of exposure around something that has a lot of buzz. But my reaction when I opened the email? No freakin’ way. No hesitation. The thought felt like a wet blanket being thrown over me. I responded with gratitude and grace and a big “no thanks.” And I haven’t wavered on the decision at all.

But I think it would have been different if I would have received the invitation a week ago. Actually, I know I would have said “yes” with glee. Before I made this “me” declaration, I would have thought about only the business side of things. I would have viewed only opportunity. I would have ignored the things I would have to give up to make it work. I would have felt like I needed to do it in the name of progress and momentum, and I would have accepted. And I would have busted arse and I would be an extreme grouch. And I would have been miserably overwhelmed for the next several months.

No one wants that. And I don’t bring the best Krissie to the table to those I love – both personally and professionally – when I am overwhelmed and grouchy.

I love that I was able to appreciate the honor of being approached without feeling obligation to say yes. I could not have given the project what it deserves. And I have also given them the opportunity to find someone who can be more present and focused with them.

I said yes.

I wasn’t sure I was going to do this.

If there is one thing I know about me, I know that I get energy from working. When I take everything off my plate, I feel lonely and unfulfilled. So I need to find the right balance. I’ve worked really hard (emotionally, logistically it was pretty easy) to back out of some of my self-imposed responsibilities to make room for what I want to do. And part of what I want to do is see others succeed and fulfill their potential. And, to be absolutely honest, I also love the accountability it brings for me.

The last two months, I have led beFULL from my coaching practice. It is pretty intense. Daily emails to tear down fear and create intention. I think participants finish up feeling changed. I love the process.

But I also miss the push of a good challenge. So I’m bringing it back. Meet Goals at Choice.

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Old-fashioned accountability challenge, in the spirit of happyHEALTHYholidays. A session with me do solidify four goals. And then harassment/support from me for accountability. I’m super excited.

I really hesitated to do this. I didn’t want to do something that I couldn’t offer my full attention to. But when I looked at what I love most about my day, my daily interaction with my clients is probably at the top of my list. This is good. This makes me happy. I love being able to serve and problem solve and give a gentle kick when necessary.

Again, I think even a week ago, I would have done the total opposite. I would have taken the opportunity that was more stressful but had more potential for growth instead of the opportunity that felt good and was comfortable and fulfilling.

I’m so glad I’m in a spot where I am making decisions like this again.

What about you? What warm and fuzzies are you potentially turning down in order to do what looks like the smartest move?

And, if you are looking at making some changes in September, check out #goalsatchoice!

today I commit to me.

So I got called out via text message the other day. Like, really called out. Like the kind of called out that has been coming down the pike for a while.

Basically, the text pointed out that other people can see that I am overwhelmed and over-committed. And that isn’t okay. By living in a space that is frantic and stretched, I am not serving anyone – or myself – in a way that is whole or authentic.

Basically, I need to figure out what isn’t creating movement and momentum toward my goals and cut them out. I need to stop taking on more than I can handle. And I need to release what doesn’t have to be my burden. I have chosen situations that have gotten to my current state, but I can also choose to get out of them.

Consequences? Yup. Frustration from others? Probably. Feelings of disappointment from people I love? That’ll happen. But, you know what? I’m taking me back.

And I’m trying really really hard to be unapologetic and guilt-free.

Today, I got out my pretty pens and a pretty orange notebook I bought when I went to meet my new niece in Kansas. And I started writing. I wrote down the following categories: obligations, wants, to evaluate practicality, desire to release, and to release.

I went through my lovely Erin Condren planner and started categorizing the things that I have on my to-do lists. And that felt so good that I started writing other things down. I made some hard decisions. I ate some yogurt and watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress as a palate cleanser and then revisited my lists. And I closed my eyes and promised myself that I would react accordingly.

And I feel SO much better.

The “obligations” are not as many as I thought, and I am genuinely excited about all of them. ALL of them.

I’m not excited about the “to evaluate practicality” items, though, because I want to do them, but do not know if I have the energy to start them. And they are things that once I start, they will become obligations. So that gets a serious :-l face.

My “to release” and “desire to release” create some serious anxiety, but that is because I don’t like to let people down. I want to be everything to everyone all the time, and I just can’t do that when I’m working full time, starting a business, and training for a marathon. Of course, guilt is on the top of the “to release” list.

Just like my list of “obligations”, my list of “wants” was also more manageable than I thought.

  • I miss my family. Home is only two hours away, and I haven’t been home for months. I haven’t seen my parents since we went to Kansas over Memorial Day. That’s not okay.
  • I want to have more fun. And I’m learning that fun can be found by putting myself in fun situations, but can also be as simple as a shift in perception. Situation: I went to Zumba last week and my face hurt from smiling. Seriously. It was killer fun. Perception: I also went to a really difficult yoga class two weeks ago and had a ball because I set my intention as fun. Not taking myself so seriously builds fun potential. I also want to just take the time to have fun. To build it into my schedule. To allow myself to rest.
  • I miss cooking. A lot. So this week, I planned our entire weekly menu from a cookbook I’ve just dabbled in, and sent Nathan to Trader Joe’s. We’re all set for a whole week of brand new meals. Three meals a day FOR ATHLETES. Image
  • Going along with that, I am done with this weight, friends. I am plenty active, I just need to get my eating under control. Having a fridge full of fun things to cook helps, but it won’t help me from snacking. So I went back to what I know works for me, what do I enjoy. I have kept a photo food journal before (both on a blog and on Instagram), but I think it can be overwhelming to my friends. So I’ve decided to use DayOne to document my food and workouts. I like pretty pictures. I like how it organizes. And I like that I can take a screenshot at the end of the day to share with you instead of mini-updates throughout the day. Same accountability, but once a day. And it will create the collage for me.

So what about you? How many obligations do you really have? What do you need to evaluate and release? And (arguably most important) what do you really want?

Let’s start Monday with a bang.

I know none of this is earth shattering, but it feels so freeing.