putting on my shoes

So many times, the first step to any process is the hardest. The scariest. The first step is coming to terms with what I am about to do. And sometimes, what I’m about to do is uncomfortable. And a little scary.

It is only August 3, and I’ve already laced up some big shoes for this month:

  • Two weeks from today, I will sitting in training to become a certified running coach. I am both excited and terrified about this. I am nervous beyond belief both for how this will impact my career aspirations and how I will feel sitting in a room of runners. Many of which will probably be much more…advanced? competent? fast?…than me. I’m feeling my insecurities as a runner and an athlete rise to the surface every time I think about this training. You’ll hear plenty more about this, I’m sure.

     

  • I am back on Team Bob. After a very decadent weekend, I really struggled to get back on my eating plan. With everything going on right now, I don’t want to think about food – I want the list making, the shopping, the prep, the cooking, the clean up done for me. And that’s not in line with my goals. So I’m packing my food even though I don’t want to. I’m not letting this goal go just because I’m busy. It is worth it for me. I don’t want to put in the work, but it is worth it. (It also helped that I was down a pound this morning. A little motivation was nice.)

     

  • I am catching up with Mint every day. I know I didn’t say anything about how I followed through with my July budgeting goal. That’s because I didn’t. At all. We did really well actually, but it was a fluke. I didn’t categorize. I didn’t take our budget into consideration. We just got lucky. And with Miami in 2 weeks and Asheville in 6, I’ve got to be focused. I don’t want to. I don’t like seeing where our money is going. I want to just be able to spend without consequence. But I’m doing it. Three days in of categorizing our transactions first thing in the morning. I don’t want to do it AT ALL, but I need to do it. I will do it. I am making the commitment.

     

  • I am writing for 30 minutes a day. Again, I don’t like it. It takes me to an uncomfortable space. But getting my book done has suddenly become very important to me. Maybe because I’m afraid I’ll forget. (Or maybe because I went back and read what I wrote a year ago and I think it is pretty good.) I’m just using writing prompts to get back in the swing of writing right now without focusing on my topic of choice. So shaking off the cobwebs feels good. I just don’t know how I’ll feel when I get to the nitty gritty again, though.

I’m making commitments. I’m lacing up my shoes. I’m headed out the door to do the work. Some of it is exciting, but all of it makes me a little uncomfortable. But I know it’ll be worth it.

So, what are you putting on your shoes for today?

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2 Comments

  1. Keep going! Keep doing the amazing things that you’re doing. (And while I can’t remember the exact quote, there was one that popped up on my Facebook page this week that said something to the effect of the scary things are the most worthwhile. I thought of that when you talked about training.)

    Good luck!

    And today? My shoes are on for my own writing practice, my meditation practice, and looking to next week, when half marathon training starts. *crosses fingers*

  2. You’re doing a great job, Krissie! For me? I have been procrastinating a lot recently, and am buckling down this weekend to finally send out some freelance work (I want to be a professional writer). I also am going to try to start and blog and learn photoshop, so we will see.

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