flashback Friday – I am a knife.

This post initially appeared on Questions for Dessert (ye olde blog) on May 24, 2012. And, even then, yoga was the answer.

Last night I wasn’t happy. At all.

I had boot camp on my schedule, but I didn’t want to go. At all. I was beat. Physically. Emotionally. Professionally. I was just exhausted.

Boot camp on Monday left me feeling empowered and excited. But running during lunch on Tuesday brought out my soreness. And then Butts and Gutts and Zumba on Tuesday night brought out exhaustion. Yesterday I found myself really really sore all the way around my abdomen and back. My thighs were burning. My knees are bruised from my modified burpies and push-ups from Monday. I took a 10 minute nap between getting home and getting dinner ready.

The thought of boot camp almost brought frustrated tears. I wanted to do it. I wanted to be focused. I want 153 and a sub-5 marathon. But I didn’t know if my body could handle it. I knew I couldn’t perform to the level I did on Monday and I was afraid I’d spend that hour being frustrated and discouraged. I didn’t know what to do.

So I reached out to my friends. And the lovely Ann posed the following question:

The body is not a sledge hammer to be beat against a rock. It is a knife to be honed. Do you think boot camp is closer to beating yourself against a rock or honig yourself? There’s your answer.

I literally sighed with relief. There was my answer. Boot camp would have been beating myself against a rock. So I started thinking. About what I could do to be a knife. It wasn’t black or white. My decision wasn’t boot camp or nothing. I needed to figure out how to be a knife.

I opened the Yoga Download app on my phone and I did an amazing 20 minute yoga practice called “Twisting out Negativity” and my standard 20 minute hatha yoga #1. It was exactly what I needed. I felt energized and connected to my body. I didn’t feel like I had given up on my fitness goals for the night, I just felt like I had made a better decision about what kind of goal to have.

I feel very secure that I did what my body needed. I don’t have to be balls-to-the-wall all the time. I need to listen, respect, and hone my body.

Amending my plan doesn’t mean that I’m not focused. It just means that I’m paying attention.

so I made a list

I have a tendency to get worked up when something big is about to happen.

It is something I know about me.

The hours as we are getting ready to head back home for Christmas can be especially…not fun. I’m freaked out that we’ll forget something important. Or that we forgot to buy a gift. Or that I forgot to ask for the time off work.

Unless – surprise, surprise – I have a list.

20140727-173417-63257333.jpgAs I’m preparing to head off to the first session of Curvy Yoga Teacher Training in two weeks, I’m working on lots of lists.

Blogposts to write before I go.

Coaching work/tasks/assignments to prep my clients for reduced interaction for a few days (get ready, friends!).

Hopefully completing my October offering before I leave.

Packing lists. In three different bags. Because I will spend nights in three different places. Seriously. It takes a village to raise a yoga teacher. And my village is pretty darn awesome. And in Nashville.

Meal and grocery list for Nathan while I’m gone. Not because he needs me to feed him, but because I like to.

Grocery and snack list for me to take with me.

Notebooks, pens, other random office supplies I need to take to class with me.

I love logistics. They comfort me.

So when I started feeling a little insecure the other night, Nathan and I created a list. A list of Reasons Why Krissie Will Rock Yoga Teacher Training.

I love anatomy stuff. I had to take A&P 101 as part of my psych degree. And it was hard. And I loved it. So much that I was the only one of my friends to take A&P 102. And I did it as an elective. By choice. I am super excited to get my hands on this book. And this one.

The philosophy of yoga feels like home to me. It feels like all of the theories of psychology rolled into one, with some religious undertones thrown in for good measure. I am intrigued. It feels comfortable intellectually. And I love what it is doing for my prayer life.

I know I will be a good teacher. I have organized and directed groups of runners. And I am comfortable in group therapy with a dozen elementary school kids. I have people under control.

Yoga has changed me. (Just scroll through the past month of posts.) And I want to give this gift to others.

Anna believes in me. My interview was incredibly comfortable. She gets me. And she thinks I am a good fit for the program. I’m not one to question her.

And, most importantly, Nathan believes in me. When I said that I wanted to do this, he didn’t hesitate. He told me to go for it. And he has taught me that sometimes things that seem crazy are the things that fill us up. To quote Nathan, “I’m a grown man who has never danced in his life. And I am dancing. In front of people. AND I LIKE IT.” If he can do that (in front of hundreds of people) – with lots of effort but equal ease? I can do this.

Screen shot 2014-08-27 at 8.21.19 PMIMG_2125I love this program. Love it.

We will work to start to recognizing moments that you can make choices – moments that we may not even recognize – that support you. Choices that support your heart. Choices that support your soul. We will work together to set four daily goals that will build you up throughout the month of September. So you can go into the fall feeling more contentment and more peace. With a routine of self-care.

One month. A consultation with me. Multiple accountability check-ins a week via text message. 10 emails of support and challenge. A lovely tracking printable from Cassie at Back to Her Roots. And a facebook community – moderated daily by me – to both comfort you and hold you accountable. (There is also a more affordable option that includes printable, resources, and facebook group only.)

Goals at Choice starts on Monday, but I will close registration on Saturday to make sure that we have time to chat before we start tracking. Comment here if you have any questions or want to know more if it is a good fit for you! (You can also email me at krissie@committedcoaching.com)

 

time for a syllabus

I so get the back-to-school bug.

Even though I haven’t gone back-to-school in September since Grad School Round 2 back in 2004, I still feel it.

My husband and I wander the school supply aisles at Target. I get excited about new notebooks and new pens. I want to create personal syllabi and buy books and put important deadlines in my calendar.

In some ways, I go back to school this September.

My Curvy Yoga Teacher Training starts in two weeks. Yup, you read that right. (I KNOW!!!) In two weeks from this very moment (well, maybe not because of the time zone change, but whatever), I’ll be sitting in the new Curvy Yoga Studio getting my yoga learning on. I have no idea what to expect other than smashing all sorts of things I love into my brain. I expect to be busy and engaged and engulfed. This is so exciting.

But with that comes my need to prepare for this busy season. And one thing I want to make sure I don’t neglect are my friends. My clients. My tribe.

So, as part solidifying my plans and as part accountability, these are my plans for the next few months:

September: Goals at Choice.

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Goals at Choice starts on Monday! I love this program. This is the second round, the first being last September. It is a great tool to set and keep daily goals that truly mean something to you. Not shoulds or musts, but goals that actually and intentionally reflect how you want to structure you day-to-day. This offering is one of the old-school accountability challenges that is more behavioral than reflective. (Although I sneak plenty of reflection in there.)

October : Find Stillness

I have had this program stewing on a back burner for a while, and I finally feel ready to clean it up. Name is still in development, but October will be focused on finding rest in each day. We’ll look at ways to find stillness, build time for peaceful moments, reduce distractions and noise. I have felt really called to create something that brings attention to intentional stillness. I’m super excited about this one.

November : Thankful In November

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For years now – this will be four – I have encouraged gratitude focus in November. Several years, I participated in a daily photo gratitude practice. Last year, I created a free offering of essays and journal prompts around gratitude. I am thrilled to present Thankful in November again this year. Essays will be new. Prompts will be polished. And it will be free. I will mention it again here, but subscribe to my newsletter to make sure you don’t miss it.

December : happyHEALTHYholidays

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happyHEALTHYholidays is an offering that is so close to my heart. I run it each December. The program focuses on self-care during the holidays and ways to embrace meaning and release expectations in this busy season. It was the first program I created, and I have such great memories of truly connecting with clients through this program. I developed it on vacation at the Outer Banks (when a washed-out bridge made it very difficult to leave the beach house), and I remember how on-fire I felt for coaching. I love that I am able to repeat this program and that it triggers the same feelings of excitement and newness every time I think about it.

January : A Lived-In Life

I cannot believe that I am already outlining an offering for January, but I have at least 5 pages of notes already. In honor of the New Year, we’ll look at how to build a lived-in life. A life that is comfortable and fulfilling. A life that doesn’t have to be perfect. A life that is enough and cozy and full of content sighs. It will last for either 6 or 8 weeks (I’m leaning towards 8) and will have videos, journal prompts, and group calls. This undertaking feels huge to me, but I think it is important to present this kind of information at a time when we tend to draft unrealistic and heavy resolutions.

I hope to see you in here somewhere!

Did any of this trigger an “I hope she covers this!” moment? Drop me a comment if so and I’ll see what i can work in.

being authentic – in person

Screen shot 2014-06-26 at 4.16.28 PMWhen I was at Curve Camp, I had one of the most interesting conversations. Outside at a picnic table. With Mara Glatzel and Dyana Valentine.

Yes. Seriously. I would say that I’m pinching myself, but the ease of it all just made it seem so normal.

We sat outside in the rockin’ Nashville humidity and talked about vulnerability. And I talked about how I’m not consistent.

I’m pretty open here. I’m very open with my friends that I’ve met online.

But in person?

Nope.

I grew up in a tiny town. As in 1200 people. One flashing stoplight. That’s it. I moved to Louisville and then settled in Lexington. I never went more than three hours from home. But I still get slack – fun-loving, but still slack – from some of my family members.

“What in the world is this?”

“Avocado.”

“You guys go to the big city and bring THIS home to eat?!?” (And then proceeds to eat it all.)

I am used to good natured ribbing, though. That’s how my family shows interest.

So I really don’t know what I’m afraid of.

But I’m trying.

I have been talking to my family about yoga school. (I even brought up yoga to my blind eastern Kentucky

grandmother.)

I’m trying to make my in-person authenticity match my on-line authenticity.

If you know me in person, feel free to encourage me.

IMG_2125Goals at Choice starts Monday! A month of meaningful goals and accountability. I added a new (more affordable!) resource-only option yesterday just for you.

weekly recap

Friends. FRIENDS.

The last week was pretty good. I feel good overall: yoga, productivity, eats. Lots of good stuff.

But nothing even compares to this thirty seconds of utter hilarity.

The Niece teaching Uncle Nathan to “hula loop.”

You’re welcome. (And there is a teacher video also uploaded on my youtube channel.)

Happy Monday!

IMG_2125Don’t forget! Goals at Choice starts in ONE WEEK!

My latest coaching offering is one of my favorites. You get the best of both of worlds: the intentional processing work AND the accountability services. We’ll have a phone chat to set 4 goals for the month of September – health, self-care, space (home/office/car/etc), and stretching (out of your comfort zone). And you’ll receive a lovely printable tracker designed by my friend Cassie at Back to Her Roots!

You can read about my daily goals here.

Questions? Comments? Leave them here or email me at Krissie@committedcoaching.com

Flashback Friday?

So I was thinking about republishing retro posts on Thursdays. You know, like Throwback Thursdays. But then it felt heavy to throw a new post back up on Fridays when Friday = the gateway to the weekend.

So I’ve decided to do Flashback Fridays instead!

Here’s the thing, though. I don’t know if my favorite posts are your favorite posts.

So what posts of mine – either here or on old school questions for dessert – stick out in your mind? What do you want to read again? What do you want others to see?

Just leave a comment here and I’ll dig them out and I’ll start recycling! (Although if you have a link, that would be fabulous!)

And, because I feel the need to leave you with a picture…

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This is the day I met my dear Miranda. And we bought the same wallet. And it was love at first sight.

Have a happy weekend, friends!

(breathe in) be. (breathe out) still.

My yoga practice is unsettling me. Physically. Emotionally. Gloriously. Unsettling me.

The other day, I was singing along to Jars of Clay in the car. I caught myself hesitating over “take my world apart.” And then I laughed. Because that is where I feel like I am.

Physically. Emotionally. Gloriously. Taken apart.

I was scheduled to attend a yin class last night, but it wasn’t what I needed. My heart felt unsettled. My hip felt unsettled. I wanted to be quiet, still, alone.

Nathan left for dance class. I went upstairs without any plan or intention other than stillness. Unrolled my mat. Did the three stretches that open my cranky right hip. I rolled a blanket to place under my knees. And I laid down.

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I started with my usual meditation.

(breathe in) be
(breathe out) still

(breathe in) be
(breathe out) still

And then it shifted.

(breathe in) healing
(breathe out) forgiveness

And I was startled.

What was this about?

And I was flooded.

Suddenly all of my recent internal drama made perfect sense. Wounds from years and years ago that I had covered but not healed. Patterns that had repeated and I had ignored. Times I was vulnerable and taken advantage of. That I had blamed myself for. That were not my fault.

I have carried around a sealed box for years. A sealed box of self-blame and self-judgement and fear.

And it went sincerely unnoticed for 15 years. Until I was triggered a few weeks ago. And I was reminded of the cost of vulnerability.

(breathe in) healing
(breathe out) forgiveness

I laid on my mat. I walked through my memories. I scrubbed away the resentment, the excuses, the justifications. I scrubbed away the messages I had internalized about myself. I scrubbed away the old tendency to accept situations without expressing my input. I scrubbed away the hurt and the anger and the confusion.

And I offered forgiveness. Honest, no-strings, no almosts. Just complete forgiveness. To myself. To others I haven’t thought about in years. To my youth.

To things I was unaware I was still carrying around.

(breathe in) stillness
(breathe out) peace

I rolled to my side. I felt peace. I felt calm. I felt understanding and resolution. And I felt the guilt I have been carrying for my recent behavior lifted.

(breathe in) stillness
(breathe out) peace

I sat up and went through my hand series prayer.

And noticed 40 minutes had passed.

The most productive 40 minutes of my week were spent in stillness. With my breath. Settling in. Going to dark corners I didn’t know were there.

Take my world apart. Unsettle me.

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Daily meditation is one of my intentional goals. Interested in developing and tracking daily self-care habits and receiving support from me? Goals At Choice starts 9/1. Click over for details.